Being a gender issues expert, I’ve been watching the campaign and reactions to Hillary, even me, shocked that in 2007 people and pundits were still holding up the double-standard. But now it’s ridiculous. It amazes me that people try so hard to find fault that they would accuse Senator Clinton of faking or forcing tears. Good grief that is polar opposite behavior for her! So now these same people would say, “exactly, she was desperate after losing in Iowa so she pulled out all the stops.” Please! And by the way, just so you know, I have not always been a Hillary fan, I was always pretty much on the fence. She did win me over long before the tears in New Hampshire, however, with her experience, knowledge, and two-for-one situation.

The best leaders in business are those who are both tough when needed and humane too. Those who can show their emotion, yes, preferably in moderation, so that we know we’ve got a friend at the top who really cares. Hillary’s tears were completely natural, in my expert opinion, and I could also feel her trying very hard not to cry. I have been there. I can be tough and outspoken and direct. I also cry very easily, especially when I am touched, including patriotic issues.

This is the “can’t win” dilemma HIllary faces in this race. When she’s tough and direct, no one likes her. When she lets her guard down and shows her sensitive side, then she’s too soft, a crybaby, a phony. WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO DO? Make up your minds.

I would love to have the opportunity to coach her from a gender perspective. To help her discern when to be tough and when to be a little vulnerable. It’s subtle, it’s tricky, but it wouldn’t be turing her into someone she’s not. Everyone has these two sides - masculine and feminine. It’s a matter of learning how to apply your balance of those characteristics, how to read what people want to see and respond appropriately. It’s communicating with people in ways that make sense to them, not to you. A step beyond the Golden Rule.

Hillary, my unsolicited advice to you is to become even more aware of how harshly your toughness is being judged. Let your nurturing side, and your love for your country, come through just a little more. Generally, your admission of hurt feelings during the debate, and your emotion in the diner were beneficial, and both of these instances were examples of vulnerability. Be proud of the woman in you and let us see her. In moderation, of course.