Get GenderSmart®! – Successfully Managing The Double-Edged Sword
Yes, things in the corporate world are getting better for women. And yes, we still have a ways to go. Women in leadership and executive positions stare down a double-edged sword daily. If their style is primarily assertive, decisive, task vs. relationship oriented, etc., they are labeled as too tough and masculine. So that means don’t act like a man. If a woman’s style is predominantly collaborative, supportive, and friendly, she is perceived as nice but incompetent. So that means don’t act like a woman if she wants to advance. Now what?
Eliminating gender stereotypes is a valid but lofty and, for the foreseeable future, completely unattainable goal. Studies have shown that regardless of the country or culture, when people see someone walking toward them, the first thing they try to determine is gender. It’s an instinctive natural reaction. Male or female? Not race, culture, religion.
So instead of focusing on eliminating stereotyping, the world would be better served becoming aware of gender styles, accepting them merely as differences rather than right or wrong behaviors, and learning how to work with them more effectively. This actually is a form of eliminating stereotyping anyway.
The fact is that the best leaders employ a balance of masculine and feminine styles. In the context of my work, masculine does not mean macho and feminine does not mean girlie. The best companies recognize, encourage, and reward collaborative leaders who nurture and develop their employees while making the tough decisions and getting the job done.
Getting back to the double-edged sword, women must walk a fine line in the corporate world, especially in longer-established industries such as financial services, insurance, automotive, and manufacturing. They will get the best results by recognizing that they are being watched more closely, and by interacting and working with a balance of masculine and feminine styles. Using solely one style or the other will backfire, much more so than it would backfire for a man because this inflexible behavior will illicit stereotyping and misperceptions of competence and personality. Such behavior by men would cause judgment too, but less often and less severe, with milder consequences.
Alternatively, interacting with a conscious balance of both masculine and feminine styles is much more beneficial to all involved. This balance looks like a blend of collaboration, decisiveness, risk-taking, nurturing, acknowledging good work, delegation, open communication, and planning – and helps avoid labels and perceptions.
Of course both men and women would achieve better results with teamwork, management, and leadership if they consciously used a balance of masculine and feminine styles. They don’t need to change who they are naturally, as all people are already a blend of both styles (although many people, especially in business, get off track from their authentic blend). By balance I don’t mean equal amounts – I mean a flexible blend that uses each style at the appropriate time. But that takes me to another article…
Bottom line:
Women (and men) – Use a blend of masculine and feminine styles…be trustworthy, honest, approachable, open, collaborative and supportive; while also taking risks, being assertive when necessary while also being courteous, delegate, make the tough decisions, and promote yourself appropriately.
Men (and women) – Be aware of how you may be judging women more harshly and holding them to different standards. They may be more friendly or have an otherwise “softer” style, but look at their performance, the results of their work, and the effectiveness of their employees. Likewise, be careful not to assume that women with a more masculine style shouldn’t be promoted. Don’t many successful men you know have the same style?
